South Asian/Asian: Top #5 Truths about counseling, therapy, and coaching in South Pasadena or Los Angeles
Do you know the truths about Therapy, Coaching or Counseling?
South Pasadena/San Marino is a beautiful city tucked away in eastern Los Angeles county. At first look, Los Angeles city and its surrounding area is actually quite diverse when it comes to age, ethnicity, race, gender/sexual identities, religious affiliations & socio economic status. But, if you take a closer look, you will notice that the numerous areas and cities, each have their own divided cultural clusters. Over time people automatically formed enclaves along ethnic/racial identity & SES being the most prominent. So, in Santa Monica or other western cities like Malibu, Beverly Hills, you will most likely see saucasians in the top 5% of SES; in South Central (made famous by many a hip hop artists over the years) are mostly African American and emerging Latin X communities while travelling east, close to South Pasadena/San Marino again tends to have upper class families but there are quite a few Asian/Asian Americans that have formed roots here over the years. In summary, these areas are packed with many psychologists, therapists, counselors, coaches and psychiatrists, each having the capacity to help guide you. Your initial contact with a professional will likely be over the phone and that conversation has a specific goal (of finding out what you need help with and wether that falls within their specialty area) and a time limit- thats to ensure that you don’t open up too much, just in case you don’t end up working with them. So, how on earth are you going to be able to squeeze in every question you have on the subject! Had possible nerves to the mix (ok. Not possible, but a definite most likely since everyone feels some level of anxiety meeting someone new, forget opening up about your innermost fears and desires.). As a South Asian/Asian minority you may feel that you will be best served by finding a psychologist/therapist/counselor with a similar background as you. And you are entitled to that. Unfortunately, only 4.3% of all psychotherapists are of Asian/Asian American descent and the estimate in the general population is higher at 5.6%. So you may not be lucky enough to work with someone that looks like you and thus, assumedly will understand when you easily throw in a comment about your parents’ arranged marriage or your grandmothers’ dowry, instead of looking shocked and confused. But, how important is this issue anyways?- matching therapist and clients based on race/ethnicity? Do you even know the basic premise of therapy, and what someone from an ethnic minority Asian/Asian American background such as yourself should be looking for? Well, that’s what I’m here for!
I want to help you!
Below I’ll be providing some basic facts or truths, if you will, about psychotherapy, counseling, and/or coaching & how those facts will be different for a cultural minority vs. someone who is not. So let’s jump right in.
The I inside scoop on what it’s really like in therapy or counseling for desi or people from the Indian sub-continent
Psychotherapy is more about a ‘good fit’ for you vs. the ‘right therapist’ for you. For example, just because your therapist is Asian/South Asian don’t assume they will just ‘get’ your experience. You and your therapist are still two different people with different brains and different life experiences. Or vice versa- Just because your psychologist is of a different race/ethnicity than you. don’t assume they will not understand your experience as an adult child of immigrants. There is a big push in the psychological community to have further training in this area. Many psychologists practice cultural humility nowadays. So regardless of who you work with, you will still have to engage in detailed discussions about your thoughts & emotions. Sorry no magic pill here!
A lot of South Asian/Asian American clients initially present to therapy because something is interfering with their work or academic performance. That terrain is changing, but the stigma is still very much alive. But just because that is where you noticed the impact, doesn’t mean that you will understand your experience by looking at your performance. Usually, a therapist will ask you deeper questions to encourage curiosity about yourself.
Trauma, or intergenerational transmission of trauma- when traumatic experiences are imparted onto you by the previous generations (parents, grandparents), without anyone being the wiser. And that is what therapy is trying to get at- to identify the why, understand your own experiences then and now, change what you can, accept that you cannot and finally move on from that experience by processing it with the guidance of your therapist.
Psychotherapy is not the same as just talking to someone like a friend or family. This is my last and most important point. Psychotherapy is a specific training in how to really hear people, see them, and engage with them in an empathic manner without allowing their subjectivity to get in the way. It is a type of emotional support that can exist under ideal conditions growing up, but let's face it, what South Asian/Asian American has had an ideal childhood in this country?! Therapy, counseling, coaching, psychiatry are all very different concepts. Be clear on what it is you need before looking for any professionals. Counseling is time-limited therapy and so usually offered in colleges/university settings. Psychiatry is different from other disciplines here because they prescribe medications, but usually have no formal training in providing therapy in medical school. Coaching, on the other hand, usually revolves around performance issues (work, professional, academic, arts, etc,) and doesn’t go deeper into any other related subjects. There are concrete goals identified and so focus is only on your behavior/output. And last but not least, psychotherapy doesn’t have a specific time limit, or boundaries around what must/not be discussed. Some therapists may discuss specific goals with you, but you won’t keep to just those goals as other related issues and feelings/thoughts out of your awareness in the past may come to surface.
Just because your life objectively looks good now, doesn’t mean you are not allowed to have negative feelings. Nor is it a competition with anyone else who may have it ‘worse’ than you (in whatever way) but is doing fine. Depression, Anxiety, Trauma to name a few, are actual medical conditions that need to be addressed. It won’t just go away through self-help readings, self-talk or by distracting yourself. Those things will eventually stop working for you because the root cause of the problem still remains. For ex: there is something called racial Even if your family dynamics were healthy, the rest of the community around you was definitely less than adequate as we are all starting to see now in 2020.
I hope this helps you find the right psychologist, therapist, counselor or coach in South Pasadena/San Marino or Los Angeles. I will leave you with this well kept secret: you want to find a therapist that you feel at ease around, someone you do or can come to trust because all modalities work. If you are still feeling stuck, or just want to talk more, feel free to call me at (626) 594-5353 for a free 15 minute phone consultation. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help with depression, anxiety, trauma/ PTSD, racial/ethnic minority experiences (such as South Asian/Asian American), LGBTQ+ or Couples’ Therapy/ Marital Counseling with straight or Queer couples, you can read more about how I can help here www.MentalWealthInc.com.