South Asian: Top #7 Myths about Online or Virtual Therapy, Indian Marriage Counseling or Coaching in Los Angeles and the rest of California
Do you Know Fact from Fiction?
Los Angeles county has one of the highest populations of South Asian/Desi Americans in all of the U.S. Not surprisingly there are many psychologists, therapists, marriage counselors and coaches who specialize in working with South Asian cultures via online therapy or virtual therapy format. This means that even if you are located in a small suburban city with no realistic access to therapists or counselors who specialize in South Asian diaspora, you can just as easily find one who can work with you through virtual or video format. But, there are plenty of myths in our societies around therapy/counseling for South Asians/Desi Americans.
My general recommendation is for BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color), racial/ethnic minority clients, struggling with depression, anxiety/stress, trauma, or needing Marital Counseling/Couples Therapy they find a Psychologist, therapist/counselor in California that also takes a multicultural approach. Not all therapists practice cultural humility. I have thus created a list of myths that I hope will help you see past all the misinformation that is out there:
Top #7 Myths about South Asian Mental Health
Desi therapists are automatically qualified in South Asian mental health:
Not all psychologists of South Asian descent have therapeutic competency in working with you. For ex: just because you speak Hindi at home, doesn’t mean you are qualified to be a professional Hindi-English translator or to translate Hindi/Urdu scriptures.
White/Caucasian or other non-Desi therapists will not be able to relate to your cultural experiences nor will they be able to help you:
First, remember that there are hundreds of different sub-cultures and languages that encompass our SA heritage. Just like an immigrantUrdu speaking female Pakistani therapist is not going to have the same experiences as a 2nd generation, queer, therapist of Asian Indian decent. Go in with your eyes and heart open to new experiences and ask whether and how a therapist practices cultural humility.
Psychologists or therapists are always judging you:
Unfortunately, handing judgment of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ has been the cornerstone of many desi subcultures. In therapy, the therapist is often like a blank slate onto which one projects their innermost desires and fears. So, the assumption that the therapist is judging you, is usually because you are judging you and/or that is a familiar experience for you.
Therapy involves betraying your family by ‘disclosing’ their secrets:
This is one of the most harmful myths being thrown around. Secrecy feeds shame and isolation. I am a firm believer that if something needs to be “hidden”, then we must definitely explore the ethics and actions behind these secrets. But most importantly, therapy is about you, not your family. When you discuss your struggle in relation to a family member, it is not ‘betraying your family’ or talking behind their back; you are processing a specific interaction or experience that was difficult for you and trying to understand yourself and how to move forward. Lastly, therapy is completely confidential, which means your psychologist cannot legally talk to anyone without your explicit, written permission.
Therapy is completely confidential and private. If relationships are important to you, then you will likely bring up family members in therapy/marriage counseling in order to improve your interactions and get yours emotional needs met.
Walk Into Your Therapy or Counseling appointment without any MisInformation!
5.If the Psychologist is not judging you, then why is he/she quiet?
I once heard a South Asian American friend of mine mention, “Why is this therapist not telling me what to do? I’m not paying him to sit there and agree with me!” in frustration. Active listening is a training that all therapists undergo early on. It is quite hard to do and almost no one does it in everyday conversations. When is the last time you had a conversation where for 45-50min you only spoke about yourself and the other person actually listened. Fully listened, reflected, validated and mirrored you? If you’ve never had it before, it’s quite unnerving, to receive that level of attention. And also liberating, amazing and freeing.
6. Therapists will be able to tell you what is right or wrong in your life and ultimately, tell you what to do:
This is viewing therapy as an additional coin in one’s quest towards ultimate productivity. Perhaps you thought that through therapy, you could improve yourself and thus, achieve your ultimate perfectionistic productivity goals. But, perfectionism is a myth and so, any productivity victory is short-lived at best. The therapist is there to help guide you back to yourself, to help you connect with your innermost desires, goals, fears, etc. Therapists are there to show you how you are not loved or important just because of what you can do or give to others. You are human and any perceived “flaws” are yours to accept and embrace, rather than fight or judge them.
7. Psychotherapy is for a) crazy people or for b) privileged, rich, White folk:
a) Saving the best for last! Unfortunately, this myth still has power today, but has begun to decrease with younger generations. Yes, there are acutely mentally ill individuals that struggle with disorders like Schizophrenia, and that’s what most people think of as ‘crazy’ or those not in touch with reality. The truth is that people that are mentally ill are boarded in acute hospital units and not usually seen by outpatient clinics/private practitioners- the psychologists, therapists, marital counselors you may be/have been googling or referred to. Thus, most common reasons that people see psychologists are for depression, anxiety, addictions, 1st/2nd generation immigrant issues, stress related to work/academics, health, relationships, family etc. & marital/couples’ counseling.
b) More and more ethnic minorities from desi cultures have started understanding the positive impact that supportive therapy can have on their outlook on themselves and life. Ultimately, high self-esteem, supportive relationships, love (for oneself and others) & success has never been specific for one culture or race, so why would the goals of therapy (set by you and the therapist together) be just for those ‘privileged’ few?
That’s it. I hope this helps you find the right therapist or Psychologist in South Pasadena. If you are still feeling stuck, feel free to call Mental Wealth Therapy & Counseling at (626) 594-5353 for a free 15-minute phone consultation, or email Support@MentalWealthInc.com. I’d be happy to hear about what is happening and help direct you to the right person. If you are looking for help or support for depression, anxiety/stress, trauma or couples’ therapy, or other multicultural (BIPOC, LGBTQ+, etc.) topics you can read more about how I can help here www.MentalWealthInc.com and visit specific specialty pages.